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 what my submission means to me .

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oishii
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Join date : 2007-11-25

PostSubject: what my submission means to me .   Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:34 am

I have been thinking about this in recent days due to what has ocurred between myself and David.
I am not very good at writing and my spellin sucks and i never spell check or edit ,, so if it is full of mistakes and Your taking Your time to read this ..forgive me in advance.

I feel that for me , my place is at his feet ,i know, i know , we all do feel that , i am a very needy wee subby as well ..i want attention like you wouldnt belive , i will jump up and down and act like a proper "little spoilt cunt"<Davids words not mine.i do that i am ignored ..lol!
I feel that i am learning everyday ,, my place at his feet is to be souly pleasing to Him ,,His needs , His wants always come before mine .
His joy means more to me than anyones , to know that i have done well in His eyes fills me with pride,, a pride i may add at this point i have no right to have ..for that is His also .

Since we are online in our relationship and even as it stands now we are not fully back together, i do my best to be understanding of His time and His space to do His daily job and hobbies , if He has spare time to come on and pat my head and say kiss, i am happy with that .
For me my only reason of being His is to serve Him when ever He wants , not to be needy and demanding ..and belive me I do struggle with that , cus naturally i am very spolit and very princessy.

I want Him to never be shamed by my behavoiur , never to feel angry that i have embarrssed Him in anyway , for in doin that ..i would be failing Him...To fail Him would distroy me , the hurt would be emmense .

I do wish that i could serve Him in real and be at the front door kneeling waiting to remove his shoes and jacket after His day at the office.
I do wish that i could lay at the end of His bed , or on the floor beside His bed nightly.
I wish could forfill His everyneed in every way on a daily basis .
As it stands just now , my aim is to be pleasing to be here , to be be understanding of His needs and not to crowd Him in anway.

I know this isnt everyones idea of a submissive , i have always seen myself as more swaying towards the slave side of it anyways .
I presume that is due to being Gorean for over 5 years,, and nope ..i was never slave there , not once.

Anyways thats my daily thoughts .
To always be pleasing .
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